CHOCOLATE is LOVE :]

Suprisingly, I did my time now by reading back through our old post. Try reading it and you will see how sweet are we. I dont know when will you get to read this post, but I hope it will be as soon as possible.

Everything when to an end, after you came back from china. I wonder, is it my fault for such things to happen knowing that I was being faithful enough as to wait for you to come back from china. If I am that bad, I guess I would have dump you and go with other guys whom are in the same school as me. But did I do that? No, I dint. Cos I promised myself that I will only love you and only you. Thus, I rejected lots of guys who came up to me and ask for my no.

But it turned out to be, when you came back. Its like a typhon which blew towards me. I was stunned. I knew all along that such things will to happen. Why does everytime a one feeling will change when they are away for a long time. Isit cause the feeling of love have gone? Or isit cos the other had found someone who is way much better and special? I doubt it  is any of this.

Yes, I agree of you wanting to end it due to our future. Sometimes I find it unreasonable. Why up till now? When my feelings for you are already true. I cried when talking on the phone with you. My heart ache. Aching. Its like as though there’s a knife which stab me on the heart. Do you know how it feels?

I guess things gonna get better in time. And I hope so. And not knowing, its hard to treat you as a friend. Im used to having you as my lover for 21 months. I doubt I can adapt being on my own. But I have to. If can, real soon.

Yes, I know we shouldnt be texting, chatting or rather still meeting up today. I wonder, why wont any one of us did something wrong, and by then we will hate each other and those feelings will fade away. But it dint turned out this way.

Ever since the two nights, I had a hard time sleeping. How about you? I cry before sleeping. People said that, just cry as much as I want. And it will get better after some time. But for me, it becoming much more worst. I view the picture that we took together almost everyday and everytime. Thus, I intend to give one to you.

Do you know that I nearly wanna hold ur hand while we are walking today.  But I know we shouldnt. Those hand of yours deserve a better girl. And I intend to hug you when we went to our seperate ways. But, I have to stop it. Stop all this. I gotta move on.

Strangers to Friends, BestFriends, Companion, Lover and back to friends? I doubt I can make you as my friend :( This relationship is too strong to change to a friendship.

If I were to brainwash you and say not to fear about the future, I doubt you will care. Cos you state your stand and you said that its not easy. Yes, I understand with no doubts. But.. Isnt it abit to.. Sigh.

I cant continue any further. Tears keep rolling. Im sad. Really very sad. And disappointed to. I know, I dont deserve to be treated this way when you are back. I though that you will shower me with more love. And yes, its just a thought.

You’ve changed your nick. Isit, beacuse you really doesnt want to put it. Or isit beacause you had forgotten to put it. I have some doubts. But I do trust you. Maybe I was just being paranoid.

And I end with this,

Is there really no chance for this love? Isly. Do you?

i think our blog needs to be injected with post uh. see seee ! the last post was like sept of  08 ? zomg. sept oct nov dec jan. 1 2 3 4 months ! no one update sehh. and the last one was mine somemore. zzz.

anyway, i decided to update our 17 months here. though one day late but yeah. at least something. heheh. fuhhh. 17 months since we know each other sia. freaking long eh. hmmm. things between us seems to be rocky and problematic eh bei. i know you do know and feel or realised it. all these are causing us to reconsider abt our r/s. sigh. as much as i hate to end this r/s but somehow sometimes it seems like we are holding on to something which we are unsure of. arghhh. nvm.im tryin to make things better for us and see how things goes. i guess same goes to you kan baby ?

on a lighter note. i guess you were fucking shocked when i told you to open your bag to see what i slipped in. well , hope you liked the bracelet which i got for you uh sweetheart. luckily it was the right one which you told me it was nice if not malu sia. hahah. sure im gna get it from you eh. lol.

what else can i say… i love you baby ! you , your love and everything. MUACKkkkSS! happy 17 (abit belated) month-sary baby ! :D